Me and a Gun
by BackstageMark
Summary: ::sigh:: Damned thing didn't work last time... Ok, yeah, Dorothy fic, don't read if you don't like Dx4 or 3x4... Review, bitte!


Well, here it is. My Dorothy fic. It's... odd.... And, no, I don't own Gundam Wing. Don't bother suing me, I'm dead broke  
  
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Damn that brown haired boy. Damn him to hell! Stealing my precious Quatre away from me...  
I know I have no chance with Quatre. He's a beautiful peace-loving prince, and I... And Trowa isn't that bad, I know he isn't. Quatre has good taste for loving him. And he has good taste for loving Quatre.  
Why must all of my relationships turn out like this? Am I really all that horrible? All that ugly? All that unlovable?  
I did something amazing the other day. I talked to Relena about it. When I think about it, she's really my only friend, and when I think about it more, she isn't even a real friend.   
She was rather... Surprised when I came to her, asking for her advice. But she was very understanding, nonetheless. Or at least, as understanding as Relena can be. She only actually listened for a minute, then went off on a rant about that time she thought Duo and Heero were gay together...  
Relena was my last hope. She didn't give me any actual advice, just told me to forget about him.  
But how can I do that? Quatre is... My perfect man, I can't possibly imagine anyone even comparing to him!   
I was actually in love once, before Quatre. It was more of a crush, really, on Trieze. But that didn't last long, it was just a stupid school girl crush, nothing serious.  
I don't know if I'm actually serious about Quatre or not. I'm a woman of war, I wouldn't know these things. There's a difference between and but I can't tell which is which. What I felt for Treize, that was lust, I'm pretty sure. With Quatre, it seems like a combination of all of them.  
I have love for his body, yes. I want his body. But I want all that's inside his body too, his heart, his mind, his soul. I want to know what he thinks, what he feels, what he wants.  
He wants Trowa.  
He wants from Trowa, what I want from him. And Trowa wants the same as I, and he's going to get it. Quatre is going to surrender his body, heart, mind, and soul to that damned clown, and he's going to enjoy every minute of it!   
I've thought about killing Trowa. I have no problem with killing people, I've done it before, and will no doubt do it again.  
The only reason I haven't killed Trowa yet, is that I've seen what Quatre can do when mentally provoked, and I know that Trowa dying is just the thing that would provoke him. And while I wouldn't mind having Quatre in the same mind set as me, war is good, kill kill kill, it wouldn't be the same. I fell for Quatre because he's nothing like me, the same way that Heero and Relena fell in love. Those two are nothing alike, yet they live happily ever after.  
Now that I come to think of it, Quatre and Trowa aren't all that alike. Trowa is cold, robot-like, and Quatre is warm, open, and caring. Godamnit, I can be cold and robot-like too!  
I know that this isn't healthy. My obsession with Quatre, that is. I ought to get over him, move on with my life, he's never going to love me. Him and Trowa are off in their own lovy-dovy world, and poor little Dorothy is left in the corner with her gun.  
Stupid gun, it's worthless. It can't kill Trowa, it can't kill me... What is it good for? Guns are meant for killing, something that this gun won't let me do. Or is it me that won't let me? Over the past year, objects of killing and I have developed a special bond. I hold it, I direct it, and it kills. A perfect pair.  
What am I worth anymore? Sitting here, mooning over a man, a man that will never love me. And my gun, it's sitting there, not doing anything. I am pathetic. A pathetic little girl, always letting other things get in the way of my life.  
I could be out right now, having a life. If I wanted, I could go make friends, I could go meet men, and have fun. But no. The only man for me is Quatre, the only man for Quatre is Trowa, and the only man for Trowa is Quatre.  
Who's woman am I? I guess I could be my own woman, I've lived my life like that so far... But what kind of life has it been? Everyone I know hates me, and those who don't hate me, don't like me very much.  
The other day... Quatre was just sitting there by himself, watching the sunset, and looking melancholy. I stood there, watching him, not saying a word. He must have felt me staring at him, because eventually, he turned around, smiled, and patted the grass next to him, motioning for me to sit. I did.  
We sat together wordlessly, watching the sunset for a while. When it started to get terribly dark, we stood up, and went our separate ways. Not a word was spoken the entire time.  
I must say, that has to be one of my happiest moments. Even though nothing happened, it was still wonderful. Quatre is a kind person.  
I can't tell him how I feel, because of that. He loves Trowa, it's quite obvious, and I don't want him to feel bad. I know he would. If I told him that I loved him, he would feel guilty for loving Trowa.   
I would never wish any type of pain, emotional or physical, upon my Quatre.  
My Quatre. Trowa's Quatre. Quatre's Quatre.  
It's stupid to refer to him as my Quatre   
He's never going to be mine, he'll be eternally Trowa's. And if he isn't Trowa's, then he belongs to himself. That makes more sense, it's rude to refer to one human being as another one's property.  
Since when am I concerned with the welfare of other human beings?'  
This love business... It's weakening me. I'm supposed to be Dorothy Catalonia, I'm supposed to love war, and hate peace, I am NOT supposed to be acting like this.  
I wish I could just kill someone and get this all over with. Kill Quatre, and get over him. Kill Trowa, and deprive Quatre of his love. Kill myself and get rid of all my problems in one movement.  
Would Quatre mourn me if I died? Would anyone?  
  
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Yep. That was it. Told ya it was odd. Now, if anyone you wonderful people out there would be so kind as to review it, I would be so happy, and I would bestow many hugs and kisses and cookies and other forms of affection upon you!


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